A pitcher of Mindoro Sling all by myself!
1. Self-proclaimed Certified Celebrity. HA! REALITY for me is based on REEL. Movies are based on real life. My life is based on movies. Therefore, I am a MOVIE STAR. I am the STAR of MY OWN MOVIE, MY OWN LIFE. Drama, Comedy, Musical, Fantasy, Erotic, XXX, Action, Horror, Thriller, Sci-Fi, War, Dark, Romantic, Epic, and Animated…name it. I already have a compilation of music that would be the Soundtrack of My Life. Original or Pirated I don’t freaking care. “I don’t wanna be just a face in the crowd…It’s my life…It’s now or never…”… ”Party like a rock star! Party like a rock star!”…”Baby you can have whatever you like…” ….”Aruba, Jamaica, come on pretty mama, Key Largo? Montego, baby why don’t we go to Kokomo”…”Akoooo na yata ang pinakamagandang lalaki sa mundooooo”…he he he…actually I am a big movie fan and most of the time star-struck
2. For the record, I think the very first movie that I was able to watch in a movie house was “MGA KWENTO NI LOLA BASYANG” from Regal Films and in MARI THEATRE in Marikina. Gradeschool nako nun. And as of now, the most recent movie I watched in a big screen was “Ang Tanging Ina Nyong Lahat” in Robinsons Marikina. Says a lot. VCDs, DVDs, Cable TV ruined my adventures in going to cinemas.
3. GENESIS, Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, Playboy Magazines and My Childhood. It was quite difficult for me to weigh things back then, as a child of God I was made from cosmic dirt/ash and the driving force was pure heavenly boredom on the seventh day. On the other hand, I detest evolving into a modern day monkey but science for me is relevant. Now that I have gained the much-needed wisdom…I consider my self as a STAR MONKEY. It’s the circle of life, from stardust to a monkey then back to stardom. Initially, because of all the porn magazines I secretly browsed when I was 6 years old, I thought that guy peeing on the flower of a girl was the actual copulation. INSERT-PISS-BABY…..weird. For the longest time, I was stuck with this concept because I was always scolded when I piss with the toilet seat cover on and I was told not to urinate in swimming pools…ha ha ha KINKY!
4. All I want for Christmas …MY TWO FRONT TEETH…lost them when I fell from a fast and furious BMX bike where I was hitched at the back. I believe I was the first JACKASS, speed addict, just a kid slamming his face on a hump and kissing dirt. I could never forget that feeling of cool air rushing in my mouth and the slimy mix of blood, sweat and saliva all over my face, neck and chest. Awesome. On my way home, I was singing ”…I cant’ smile without you….”
5. I was never fond of SIESTA TIME…takes away a lot of play time. As a kid, play is very valuable and is a matter of life and death. Harry Houdini and David Blaine should get pointers from me in being the PERFECT ESCAPE ARTIST. There is no such thing as being locked-up because I can fit into anything just to get out and avoid forcing myself to sleep. My acting career probably started from pretending to be asleep during siestas and to make it even more realistic are bubbling saliva and original score of snoring ZZZZZZZZZZ. Planning was vital and the escape route was always logical. NINJA STYLE without the smoke powder, just tiptoe to the window, remove window panels fast and noiseless, bear the heat of the roof and climb down walls. Remember to get back on time or else…you will be left with a lot of options, leather belt, walis tambo or dos por dos.
6. IRON CHEF. Back in elementary, my Home Economics teacher asked me to join in a cooking contest. I gave in to the challenge but was not confident with the recipe they wanted me to cook…GINATAANG TULYA. I over-sauteed the onions and garlic and the squash was overcooked. I won 2nd place but I knew it was only because of the fruits we placed in the presentation of the dish which the judges took turns in eating them as desert after tasting all the other entries. Anyway, I was so disappointed that I pushed myself to learn how to prepare and cook food. As of now, my specialties include Tinola, Adobo, Pochero, Paksiw, Pancit Canton, Tuna Pasta, and the sauciest….Garlic Pork Butterly in Mushroom Sauce. The experimental chef in me can do wonders with omelets. For the budget reasons, I have Pinatisang baboy, just patis and baboy. Ha ha ha.
7. Growing up was not that memorable for me in the sense that there were no birthday parties thrown for me. I cannot recall any but I saw only in pictures that my parents celebrated my first anniversary. In those pictures, I saw a happy child wearing jumpers and cute sneakers with a Sesame Street cake. Big Bird, Ernie and Bert were on top of my cake. Sosyal! Looking so innocent, the camera was in love with the cute red-haired mestizo little boy. BIRTH OF THE CAM-WHORE. I am still dreaming of a jollibee or mcdo kiddie party. It feels good though that my friends surprise me with birthday parties complete with cakes, balloons and booze. In fairness to my family, they do remember my birthday and prepare a simple celebration once in a while.
8. Earliest memories I can remember from 3 years old and below… in a blue basin bathing, tumbling down a dining table with dinner on top of it, crawling over a wet, smelly and dirty rag just to get out of the house, a clown balloon bigger than me that is always standing even when I push it down….uhmmm no more…
9. BOYSCOUT FOR LIFE. Learned a lot from scouting. In one of our camping in Mt. Makiling, my PATROL DINGO got lost inside the mountain during the trail signs activity because we were so damn smart interpreting everything in the trail as signs. Being the Patrol Scribe, I was the last in the trek because I had to record and prepare the map. It was already too late and we ventured too far away before we realized that we were lost missing the END OF TRAIL sign. Instinct told us to look for the river and follow the stream, it lead us back to our base camp with no one there. Everyone went on searching for us. It was a close call for the Patrol because upon arriving in the camp heavy rain fell and the path that we trekked going back to the camp is path of the flashflood. A week before that four died in the area because of the flashflood. Whew! Now I am living in Los Banos for almost 15 years at the foot of Mt. Makiling.
10. My brother is an MVP in Basketball, my other brother is a DOTA Master and my sister is an MVP in Volleyball. I am beauty and brains ha ha ha. I never liked basketball, I am more into BOWLING just like my parents. I am consistently a person to beat whenever I join in bowling competitions (me kasamang yabang). I am also a Badminton champ. My P.E. during college included Bowling, Archery, Swimming and Ballroom Dancing. I learned how to swim in scouting when they threw me in the pool. Just like a dog, I paddled was able to float and surface. The only thing I cannot properly execute until now is the BUTTERFLY STROKE but I can do the dance. I am also into SKIN DIVING. Just recently, I tried SKIM BOARDING and I guess I was born to do it after falling a million times landing face first on the sands of Boracay.
11. ANIMALS. The relationship I have with the other species invented by God depends on my mood. I am a dog lover and is now living with three of them, Junjun, Acacia (shih tzu) and Charmel (shih tzu terrier). My dear departed askal dogs were Orange Juice, Lucky, Luningning, Princess, Brownie, Blackie, Poochie, Ara Maggie Dogg etc. I owned a duck named Pokwang that I got from a perya. My arrowana, Shuq’ran, gave me luck but I think I unintentionally killed it by adding bad water. Another pet that gives me good luck especially in Bingo was Lailang Tuko, a gecko, who is allergic to cumin powder. I also love cats probably because of their being low maintenance Miming, Kitiket, Porch, Zorro, Speedo, etc… Pattie the rabbit, Pokey the guppy fish.
12. Younger, I used to torture cats. I make them scream by stepping on their tails, I throw them in clothesline and leave them there hanging by their claws, I hang them on walls, I put them inside sacks and swing them on air, I perform operations on their ears by sewing them together, OMG! Worst of all, I was asked to dispatch three kittens somewhere in the rice field at the back of our neighborhood. There in Tumana, I bragged that cats could swim so I threw all three kittens in the empty rice field with water that is knee-high thinking that they can swim. Splash and then bubbles. All of them drowned in front of me. So I think. The next thing I remember is that I ran as fast as I could without looking back, pale and in state of shock. I never tortured cats ever since. In college, I lived in VetDorm, seeing cats being dissected and cats walking around the hall with casts, bandages and patches, I said to myself, “experiment on some, save more catkind.” Road kills, I think it’s their fault. Why did the cat cross the street? To get to the other side. Not really.
13. I was launched in the dancing arena via ‘The Little Drummer Boy’ stint when I was in Grade 1. As part of the drummer boy look, my mother used her red lipstick in making red circle on each of my cheeks. Looking like a Japanese Flag left and right, I managed to throw in a stellar performance just by doing robotic humping and pumping while striking my plastic drum. The rest is history and learned to accept that the world is my stage. From then on, I danced to the tunes of Carinosa, Singkil, Tinikling, Sayaw sa Bangko, Electric Youth, Hold me, Explosion, Pink Cadillac, Pearly Shells, Prove Your Love, Gold, Dying Inside to Hold You, Mga Kababayan Ko, Hataw Na, Bawal na Gamot, Patient Eyes, Boom Shakala, American Express HowGee?, Humanap ka ng Panget…my dancing career flourished back in High School and was so popular because of my signature moves.
14. Critically acclaimed. As for my acting prowess, I have been part of the following plays; Manuel L. Quezon, The Tragey of Dr. Faustus, Headlayn 1994, Kahapon, Ngayon at Bukas, Matamis na Bao, Kois Kais: Ang Paglilitis, Ang Uwak, Lysistrata, Oedipus Rex. I was asked to play a bit role in the indie film, Lambanog, wherein I was one of the lovers and it was my first and I had nothing on. It was a bed scene…pumping scene and had to fake an orgasm…he he he. For the sake of art, I had to pump a pillow in between our genitals while sitting and her on top of me. My back seriously ached after that and I could not move my legs after the director shouted “CUT!” Orgasm turned into muscle cramp. I have never seen this movie up to now.
15. Videoke and Singing Career
16. Addict sa massage, stressed out, paranoid
17. Social Butterfly Social Climber
18. Loyal sa trabaho, sentimental. lovelife
19. Loner pero center of attraction
20. loves money, believes that money makes the world go round, lotto
21. Smoker, Alcholic, Party Person, Gimik kung gimik
22. Straight to the point, pero pkyeme
23. Feng shui, Karma
24. Traveller, wanderer